Tuesday, January 9, 2007

I Am Momma... Hear Me Roar!

Now, at first glance, my "oh so clever" title may lead you to believe that this post will be about the Momma Bear within me, ever ready to leap tall buildings in one single bound or throw myself into oncoming traffic to retrieve one of my children's lost balls. And I can see why you'd think that because I have done that, and worse, many times over. But still, this little number is not about that. For now I will lay aside my heroic Mommy-deeds and address a topic that strikes me beneath my armor, in the vulnerable underbelly of my womanhood.

Let me begin by admitting that I suffered a bout of angst while creating this blog. When I came to the "About Me" section I felt obligated to input some information about ...well...me. So, naturally, I asked myself "Who am I?" And, like most of us, I started by thinking of who I am to other people...wife of...mother of...sister of...etc. I see no problem with that. Yes, I know, technically those things aren't really who we are but I'd venture to guess that very few of us are poetic enough to capture the very essence of our beings and confine it to mere words. So...like I said, I'm fine with that part. Here's where I struggled:

I am a happily married, stay-at-home Mom. I homeschool. I have no personal income. I am not an "independent woman." I have not yet convinced myself that I have any time (or desire) what-so-ever for a "cottage industry." I don't mind cooking for a man who gets up every day and goes to work for me. I loved college but I don't miss it--which means I may never have any letters behind my name (other than Q.T. if you ask my husband or P.P. if you catch me at a bad diaper moment). All of this works well for me 99.9% of the time. In fact, I only just ran into trouble when I had to lay it out in the daunting "About Me" section.

It's not that I wish I had a string of letters behind my name or a list of accomplishments to put Apostle Paul to shame. It's just that I cringed at the thought of the of the critical eyes who would write me off as a know-nothing, or worse yet, label me as identity-less. May I say, for the record, "I know who I am." "I think." "Well at least a much as any of you know who you are." Okay, I admit, life is a journey and I am a seeker. Who I am is changing all the time. It's the same for all of us. But, the fact remains--there are those of you out there who would think me more fulfilled, more complete if I could put M.D. after my name. Or Ph.D. Or Vice President of such-and-such. You would say, "Now, there's a gal who saw what she wanted and went after it!" Or you might think to yourself, "She's really something. She didn't let her husband and kids get in the way of her dreams."

Here's where it could get controversial, but I'm gonna type it anyway...

My husband and children are the best parts of my dream. Sure, they are not the only part, but, next to God, they are the parts that matter most to me. I love doctors. In fact, I frequent them with four children. But, still I say to you doctors, "Will your patients take care of you when you get old?" Oh, how I hope you are more to a few special people than their doctor! My husband is the best Direct Marketer I've ever kissed (or heard, or read) , but, I say to you business masterminds, "Will your clients hold you close at night?" (Okay, if the answer is yes, please keep that hush, hush..k?) I pray you'll be much more to someone than their sure-fire money-maker. I trust that along with attaining your goals you are tending the relationships that make life meaningful.

Of course, all of these are great achievements in their own right, but they are not necessarily the kind that warm your heart while your body grows cold at the end of this earthly journey. I just figure I'm cutting to the chase; leaving out the middle man. I know not all people are passionate about what I am passionate about...and that's perfectly fine with me. I just happen to be blessed with life dreams that mesh seamlessly with what I value the most.

So...who am I, anyway? I unabashedly invite you to check out my "About Me" section!

...and that's just my $0.02...

Tonya

3 comments:

Tasha said...

oooo hey! You go girl! What an excellent start... :)

RuminativeDi said...

It's about time you started blogging! Loved your first post!

Di

Anonymous said...

My wife. How talented. How creative. How intelligent. How loving.

Thanks Tonya for your passionate commitment to our children and me!

With love,
R