Saturday, July 19, 2008

Time Flies...


At first I hesitated about using such a common cliche as the title for this post. After all, just about everyone says, "Time flies when you're having fun!" But I've noticed something slightly different. Time flies no matter what.

It's truly amazing, actually, the times that time flies. Time flies when you're raising kids. Time flies when you're on the phone. Time flies when you're watching TV. Time flies when your in your husband's embrace. It flies when you're eating, cutting the grass, working, sleeping, and exercising. It even flies when you're crying, hurting, recovering, or laughing. Time has flown while I've neglected this blog of mine. Time has the brazen audacity to fly when you're aging!

This past week has given me several opportunities to reflect on this topic. Little things keep popping up that make me stop and think about how much time has gone by and how very quickly it has done so.

Just two days ago I was going through some pictures my Mother-In-Law recently dropped off. Included were photos of my girls dressed for their ballet recital, wearing make-up. My girls are only 6 & 8 years old so the regular use of make-up is still a long way off... or so I thought.

As I looked longer at their pretty, made-up faces I realized I was seeing a glimpse of the future. I was seeing the more mature faces of lovely, young ladies who will turn the heads of young men in the not-so-distant future. I was seeing the forms of girls from which the rolls of baby fat have melted away, which have paused only briefly at this pre-teenage silhouette of childhood, and will soon continue their journey on toward womanhood.

To add to the wonder of seeing my daughters in this light, yesterday I was re-introduced to the daughters of a close friend whom I haven't seen in six years. Her daughters are now 10 & 7 years old instead of the 4 & 1 year(s) they had lived when last I saw them. I was amazed the very second I saw her oldest as my memory of her 4-year-old self collided with the sight of her now.

It's only logical that she would be so much older, so much bigger, but for some reason that lies below my consciousness I had pulled into the driveway expecting to see the little girls I remembered. As soon as I recovered from my shock it occurred to me that seeing my children would undoubtedly cause my friend the same surprise. And that, like me, she would probably marvel for a moment at the flight of time that had taken place.

Somehow during our visit we moved to the topic of supervising our children's outside play. We both lamented the fact that we find it necessary to physically be with our children whenever they play in the front yard. Because we are busy mothers this necessity greatly limits our children's play options. Gone, it seems, are the days in which we were reared; the days of walking a mile to a gas station for an ice cream sandwich, or riding our bikes far beyond our own streets, of just making sure we were home by the time the streetlights came on.

But it wasn't even very long ago... was it? Apparently the last 25 years of my life have also been loaded onto that stealthy jet-plane called TIME.

Even our visit was sped away in the jet stream as our 6 hours together was crammed into an experience that felt like 90 minutes-tops!

While my 3 younger children and I were whisked through time yesterday my oldest child attended a teen-pool-party given by the president of the home school group to which we belong. He's actually still twelve but will be 13 this Fall and the invitation was for members 12 & older.

The moment I saw the email invitation I was taken aback. Teen? Surely not! Am I old enough to be the mother of a teen? I have only recently recovered from his graduation from the children's ministry at church to the youth ministry. In fact, I still grapple with the realizations brought on by the sight of the pretty, young girls who also attend this youth ministry. The pretty girls that will soon catch his eye. The pretty girls whose eyes he will catch. So far I've not noticed any particular spark of interest on his part. But I'm grounded enough in reality to know that it's only a matter of quickly moving time... (after all, he's about as good-looking as they come;-)

I could go on & on with examples but I'm convinced that you already get my point. I have no doubt that you have your own examples on which to reflect.

As I'm writing this post my husband makes the valid point that time doesn't seem to fly during the tough times. He's right. If anything, it feels as though time is not just walking, but dragging its feet during times of suffering or hardship. It's true. We've all experienced it. While we are uncomfortable time seems dreadfully slow, but only until things change.

What do I mean? I'll explain.

I can't say this is true for everyone (although I suspect it may be). After things get easier, after we've had time to recuperate, and after we've been able to put some distance between ourselves and our troubles... it seems that even those tough times moved quickly. I can think back to the most difficult times in my life and, though I recall how long it seemed to take, I can now more accurately place them in proper perspective in the timeline of my life.

My conclusion... time ALWAYS flies.

May we be wise enough and resourceful enough to make the most of it.

...and that's my $0.02...

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Note to Self...

Start blogging again! Be witty. Be creative. Be fun. Use spell check.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Happy Birthday, Seashell!

Just over a week ago, on the 13th of April, little Seashell celebrated her 7th birthday. Oh, how time flies. I didn't take the time to stop in here to post on the actual day, but better late than never...right? It was a fun day, too. Presents, cake, cards, eating out... she had a blast.

Just today I had the pleasure of taking her shopping...just us two girls. Her Granny gave her money for her birthday and we went out to spend it on her together. As we walked into the department store, hand-in-hand, I was struck by the thought that I was rather enjoying being out shopping with her. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being with my children, but this was a new kind of enjoyment. This was a "I'm hanging with my girl" kind of enjoyment... a teeny peek into the future.

She knew what she was after. Seashell wanted a pair of dressy sandals, a casual "wear anyday" dress, and toys. So we set out on our hunt...and we shopped! We hit three stores and, in the end, she got everything she had listed and had less than $1.00 in change. We did it, almost to the penny! Yep, me and my girl.

Yetserday evening Ron and I went to the opera the see Porgy and Bess. I only bring that up because while I was getting ready in the afternoon Seashell and Butterfly pleaded for me to paint their finger and toe nails with the same light lavender polish I used on mine (my dress had lavender flowers). So I did.

I'd never done that before and I found it to be fun. And, of course, once they had painted nails the became quite the ladies! Prancing and giggling and picking up things oh so gently so as not to smudge their polish.

My girls are growing up and I am looking forward to what lies ahead. I'm so thankful for my front-row seat to their lives. What a blessing!

Happy Birthday, Seashell. I love you.

Mom

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Time To Re-Evaluate

I wrote this for the newsletter for my local homeschool support group. I thought I'd share it here, too.


Very recently I received an email from an old, high school friend which
contained one of those inspirational forwarded messages. By now I've
learned that very often the things written in these types of emails turn out to be false...thought up by someone who has nothing better to do, I suppose. And the one I received may be no different. Or, it may be true. I don't know. But, it was good and it made me think.

Supposedly, it was written by a lady after she learned she was dying of cancer. She composed a list of things she would have done differently if she could relive her life. It was one of those lists that, if you really stop and think about, will make you re-evaluate why you do what you do and whether those reasons really make any practical sense.

So... I started thinking...

As a homeschooling mother, why do I make my children save their "good clothes" for when we go out when, in truth, we are mostly in? If my daughters want to look pretty just to stay home and "do school"... why shouldn't they? Are the people out there more worth dressing up for than the people at home? Why shouldn't we get the most out of the clothes while they still fit?

If I am going to a meeting or party (VHS or otherwise) why should I bake a dessert to take, threaten my husband if he gets near it, and only bring home the picked-over left-overs to my family? No offense to the rest of you, but I think from now on I'll just make more, separate an ample portion for my family, and bring you what is left (also an ample portion).

Why should I try so hard to justify homeschooling to skeptical and unsupporting family and friends. Why put that pressure on myself when I can just smile politely and change the subject. My husband and I are pleased with our children's progress and, more importantly, we believe God is as well. Whose opinion trumps these? Hmmm, can't think of anyone...

The list could go on and on:
-We absolutely must have routine in my house, but should it win out over an on the spot, God-sent, teachable moment that may have very little to do with a text-book?
-Isn't living integrity more valuable than spelling integrity for both my children and me?
-So what if the paint does get on the carpet? We'll get it clean, but even if we don't, is the carpet to be our master?
-And, why not occasionally forsake the lesson plan for a good book with my children, in the springtime sunshine, in the back yard? After all, that is the freedom we homeschoolers have, isn't it?

Those who know me also know that I'd be the last to advocate reckless abandon regarding educating our children. Not at all! I just don't want to look back on these precious years with an "I wish I'd done it differently" list. I believe the grammar and the arithmetic really do matter, but does the knowledge of them make life beautiful? What good are the best writing skills without something truly moving to write about? God, love, family, joy, etc...these are the things that make life beautiful.

So it is my new goal to let the people and things that matter most, matter most. I'm sure I won't always get it just right but I will work toward it. Then, hopefully, at the end of this homeschooling journey I'll chuckle to myself and thank God for the memories...and, who knows, I might even have a stubborn carpet stain to make me think back and smile!


...and that's just my $0.02...

Tonya

Monday, March 12, 2007

Alive And Well!

I am pleased to inform you, my loyal reader, that I am (indeed) alive and well. This past month has been quite the "thrill ride"... and me...I've been something of an emotional train wreck. You know the drill---happy one second, then in tears, then scared about the future, then deliriously tired, then deeply in love, then strangely at peace---and on and on down the wacky-track.

I thought about checking in here on several occasions only to change my mind mid-post. I wouldn't want to scare anyone away or anything. Noo...better to wait until things settled down a bit...


...and now they have (I hope). So here I am, and bearing good news, no less!


RON HAS A NEW JOB!!!


Yes, praise the Lord, it is true! He won't actually start until March 26th, but he does have a sure thing. It is with an excellent company, with good pay and excellent benefits. It is even quite close to home. We are pleased!


We have survived this stretch of unemployment. (deep sigh of relief)

And to top that off, we haven't even had any more major illnesses, pet emergencies, or plumbing problems. Whoo-hoo!

I am still in emotional recovery though. I will be back to post again soon. (Hopefully with my humor intact next time.)

Until then, just know that we are well...we've faced some storms this past month...but we are well.

And for that, we are thankful.

Tonya

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Birthday, Valentine!!!

Today is a very special day. For us it's not only a day to celebrate the gift of love, but it is also the anniversary of the day we welcomed our third child into this world, five short years ago.

Yes...Butterfly has turned 5!

And, what a fun-filled five years it has been. Gone is the pudgy, baby face and here to stay is the humorous, fun-loving, intelligent, and all-around delightful child.

It's amazing how each new child born into a family bends and molds it into a previously unknown configuration. Each special character trait brightens our home even as it changes our home. There's just no going back...and we wouldn't want to if we could.

We have been permanently altered, in beautiful ways, by our sweet Butterfly, and this is the day we get to stop and think about that fact.

We'll watch her prance around in delight as she shows off her gifts. She'll bubble over with joy as I bake her birthday cake. She'll repeat her new age to anyone who will listen. We will see her eyes light up as grandparents show up with even more gifts...

And all the while I'll be thinking,

"Butterfly, you're my favorite Valentine's gift."

With all my love,
Momma

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

It's Raining, It's Pouring...

Sooo... who was that who said, "When it rains, it pours." ...Huh?

I wouldn't necessarily always agree with that statement, but lately it has been a little hard to refute. As I am typing this entry Ron is scouring the local Home Depot for a product known as Liquid Nails, or something like that. This is after our well meaning children (who were moving furniture in order to vacuum the living room) pushed the playpen across the threshold into the breakfast nook and inadvertently ripped the divider thingy from the floor. You know, the part that divides the carpet from the laminate wood floor. Yeah, that thingy. Tonight we shall have the unmerited pleasure of trying to glue it back down. Yes... we... who have NO idea how to do this type of thing.

Oh, but don't feel sorry for us yet. It's far too early for that. I've only just begun. So get comfy...

If you are a faithful reader of Tonya's Two Cents you are already aware that Ron was recently RIFed. (see "Here We Grow Again" for details) If you are new to my blog then... Welcome!!! But I have to warn you-You've come at a bad time.

Anyway, as if the sudden income halt weren't enough, two weekends ago we suffered a pipe break in our front yard. The City was good enough to come out to inspect the problem and to inform us that it was indeed our problem and not theirs. Plus, they were kind enough to leave us a little note to say that they hoped this would not inconvenience us. Of course not! We are not fickle enough to consider a wee little pipe break an inconvenience when we are unemployed. What kind of people do they think we are?

We do have a home warranty on our house and they did send out a plumber. But apparently our warranty only covers the plumbing that is over the actual foundation of the house, not in the yard.

I trust that they also hoped that this wouldn't be an inconvenience.

Well, we hired a plumber and, after four days without running water, he fixed our pipe and we re-entered the 21st Century. It's good to be back! I'd write a little about life with four children and a dog, minus running water, but I haven't reached that point in my recovery yet. I'm sure you understand.

Money spent!

No job.

After my husband lost his job I scheduled last minute dental appointments for Ron and myself (because our health insurance would end at the end of January and we hadn't been in a while. The kiddos were current on their check-ups already.) To my horror and amazement I had several uh...um... needs for tooth fortification, and Ron had two. $$$ Can you say, "cha-ching"? $$$

More money spent.

Still no job.

All was well in our home after that... until Sunday morning. Upon waking we found that our little Jack Russel Terrier looked more like a bulldog than any terrier of any type. The right half of his face was very swollen! I thought someone must have thrown something at him while he was out back. I was horrified!

Then, several hours later, after church, lunch, and a family trip to the library, we came home to a dog whose whole face and neck were swollen---like a balloon! I tossed out my "despicable neighbor" theory and adopted a "severe allergy" theory in its place, pulled out the Yellow Pages and began my quest to spend more money, yet.

I found a vet open on Sundays and rushed out with my dog in one hand and my check card in the other. I was right. Severe allergy. The doc wanted to give him two shots. One anti-inflammatory and one antihistamine. I met him in the middle. I agreed to the first, and gave Samson Benedryl at home, by mouth. (Was that ever fun!) I'd found a coupon for that particular vet in the phonebook and altogether I saved my dog's life for about $60.00.

I suppose I shouldn't complain. I would've spent more on a new dog and I would've had sad, crying children to comfort. ALRIGHT! I would have been sad too, if you must know.

More money spent.

That was two days ago.

As I'm finishing up this lovely, little post... Ron just got home with the supplies needed to fix the floor. Apparently we needed more than we thought. The friendly flooring guy at Home Depot showed him what to do... all for the bargain price of $60-something dollars. More money spent. Oh well.

I guess this is the part where I write about the up-side of all of this. hmm... I'm a little hard-pressed on that one. Let me see here...

Well, we've been able to do what we've needed to do and we are happy and together. That counts for a lot, right? Of course it does!

Also, the job search seems to be going well. There have been some offers, just not "feed a family of six" type offers, but I am encouraged. I feel that the right offer is just around the corner. He is certainly being diligent about getting his resume' out there.

Ron is also stretching his business muscles. He is self-employed but since he had been at a full-time job had more-or-less taken a break from that. Well now he's back, and he's good at what he does! I know we'll be seeing some impressive income from that avenue as well. He is a marketing consultant... just in case you were about to look for one when you finished reading my blog.

It's only a matter of time! God is good and He hasn't forgotten about us! He will see us through.

Thanks, dear reader, for letting me vent. I am very much relieved. You should charge for this type of therapy.

Now for a bit of carpentry! Wish us luck!

Signing out,
Tonya